Dreams

I had a very lovely dream today, well last nigt to be specific and I just had to write it because I want savor the feeling of it and remember it evry time (not that it's the very first good dream I had in my 21 years of existence).

Let me start with.....

I was in a room full of people and we were obliged to present a dance number and was divided into 3 groups, I forgot the songs we danced to but the point is we won, thanks to my mentor whom I'm about to share to you (we've known each other for quite a long time already, in my dream).

This mentor was giving me looks that can see through one's soul (that deep haha). So as I went out the room, he approached me  and was, you know, talking about stuffs (usually things that meant a guy's into you). Then his phone rang, so he and I bid our goodbyes. He must've thought I would be following him (imagining that scene, I thought at that very moment that he was very used of girls following him) except me which amazed him. I looked at him just as he looked back on me again, and then I turned left (not the way I usually take when I head home). I swear to God his look was very priceless, he was shocked and eventually turned back to follow me instead. I thought he'd just stop at the corner just to see where I'll turn next, realising that I won't be chasing him like a dog chases it's tail, he stopped talking to his phone and got his full attention. He ran towards me, panting, and started talking to me. He said he wanted to walk me home just so he knows I'm safe.

We had a very lovely time to be honest. We walked along the shores of  luscious beach then we stopped at a gate. I assume he's not allowed to go out of the premises for the security officer stopped him. But he didn't, he insisted and said he'd be like 4 hours outside and made sure he'll come back (I think he's sort of in a high position and a very busy man). We then made our way through a warm, breezy path, full of tress with fresh wind blowing on our faces (I can actually still feel everything at this very moment). Then we reeached a very busy highway for I had to ride my way home from there,   we then met an influential person, a friend of his and introduced me as his girlfriend (a shocker I know but I'll tell you why he ended up saying I'm his girl). All through the way, our conversation went like this:

Him: I was wondering why you didn't follow me...
Me: I was also quite wondering why you followed me too.
Him: Well, that's because you're different. I assume you'd chase me just like all the other girls did.
Me: Hah! I'm sorry to inform you I'm not one of them. I'm tired chasing men you know, it's just not my priority at the moment.
Him: I know, that's what I like about you. But I felt like you've been wounded, scorched even.
Me: I was. I'm a bit scared of having relationships now, you know. All the drama, and heartaches, that's too much for me already. I only had one yes but the pain was unbearable and i don't wanna go through it all over again (I was amazed he listened to every single word I said).
Him: That's what I thought. But i would like to tell you not to generalize. I mean not everyone is the same stupid guy who broke your heart. There's always someone out ther who'd treat you differently. I for one will.
Me: (looks at him, smiled) Haha that's what every guy says. But i just don't have the time for that. I still have lots of dreams to fulfill, my dreams. I want to make myself happy and stop thinking about making others happy, you know what I mean? It's just I'm emotionally drained. I gave everything, I gave all the love I had at that time and I think nothing's left for me. That's where I was wrong.
Him: (saw me teary-eyed) no please, stop. I can't imagine what you went through. But I promise, I will take care of you. You don't have to do the same now, just take your own pace. I will be here, waiting. I don't want to rush you.
Me: (I smiled) Thank you. Where were you at that time? haha I should have met you instead of that guy.
Him: Everything has its moments, I guess. At the right time, I will come to you, well I did now? (he chuckles)
Me: You know I won't be spending much time for you right? I mean I have school, and that's on top of my priority.
Him: Yes I know. I'll come to you. If you just allow yourself to let me help you heal.... and maybe if you want, I can take you to school and then bring you home so you don't have to commute.
Me: Hmmm  yeah I guess you're right. I think I'm punishing myself too much for another person's mistake. So maybe I'd give it another try... so yes.
Him: what do you mean yes?? you mean like be mine?
Me: I said Iwill give it a try. i don't want to keep your hopes up.
Him: Oh my!!!! yeah don't worry I won't rush you! yes! i can take you to dinners and stuffs. yes (calms down) but okay yes. Take your time.. ( that's when his friend drove by)

By that, we bid our temporary goodbyes, knowing we'll see each other again the very next day...

And suddenly I woke up. What's disappointing is that i never saw his face. i mean I did, but I can't remember what his face looked like. Everything was very vivid except for his face, its blurry.

One thing I learned though. Maybe I should.... stop myself from being too tight. I mean I rhink i need to loosen up a bit like accept the idea of being inlove is just right in the corner or maybe the next block. The point is I have to stop punishing myself, put the locks away and soften, not that I should indulge to committing in a relationship right there and then but just too see the ligh at the end of the tunnel. As my uncle said, I should prioritise my golf balls and focus on them. Life is one heck of a journey, it's a series of falling down, full of them actually, but what matters most is you stand up and fight again.



E.M.B.C